Patients Show Resilience in the Face of Cancer

Christine Wilson, cancer survivor, shares her experiences from the Focus On Melanoma conference in the last of a series of four blog posts.  

Bernie Parent addressed the Abramson Cancer Center's Focus On Melanoma Conference on the topic of resilience — overcoming fear with purpose. Judging by the warm reception given to former Flyer goalie, Parent's contributions to two Stanley Cup winning seasons in the mid 1970s have not been forgotten. 

But for me, the real meaning of resilience became clear listening to the patients who participated in the panel discussion that followed his talk.

As I listened to the four panelists, so varied in age and background, yet sharing a common diagnosis, I thought of the program that aired last year on SHOWTIME®, called "The Big C." It purported to be a brave, gutsy, straight-on look at what it means to face a diagnosis of stage IV melanoma.  The main character, a 40-ish school teacher in Minnesota, learns she has the disease and decides to change her life, But she accepts her fate based on a single chest X-ray from a single physician (who looks like he barely finished high school). She doesn't tell a soul, not her husband, her son or a best friend, nor does she seek treatment.  I watched it twice and it made me too angry to watch again.

The voices heard at the conference could not be more different than this TV creation.  These were people who were fighting their cancers. They had formed a tight partnership of trust and hope with their treatment teams and endured multiple painful and debilitating treatments.  Every one in their own way had found meaning in the struggle.  No one suggested that there was a simple formula for becoming and remaining resilient.  They spoke of grief, anger and denial, but also of love, determination and the strength they draw from what may seem like life's smaller joys: a card from a friend, playing catch with their son.  Regardless of the state of their disease, each was deeply grateful for a continued existence, and every one of them expressed profound appreciation for the support and love provided by their friends and family.
 
Alice, the youngest of the group, was only 29 when she was diagnosed five years ago, long after Parent's heroics on the ice. She attributed some of her resilience to a form of denial, to "refusing to believe in her own end" as she put it.  She summed up the feelings of the group, and of so many people who have traveled down the cancer pathway with these words.

"I learned that despite having cancer, life marches on.  Things are still happening around you, work, vacations, babies, weddings," Alice said.  "I learned to accept the reality of the disease as a part of my life, but not as something that defines me. I will give what is due, but I won't let it become who I am."

For more information, view the Focus On Melanoma conference video and Melanoma Treatment: A Patient Video Guide, on the ACC website.

Learn more about melanoma treatment at Penn Medicine.